If you just got engaged, you’re probably all smiles and excitement. Everyone else is glowing with happiness for you and you’ve lost track how many celebratory glasses of bubbly you’ve had. But, out of the corner of your eye, you can see a friend with a plastered on smile that’s covering up her jealousy. How do you deal with those who are envious of your happy news?
Don’t hide your happiness
You might feel a little awkward around a friend who is acting jealous, which might stop you from getting excited around them, but don’t. Even if they are jealous, you shouldn’t hide your happiness having just got engaged around them. That will only make things tenser between you two, and she’ll expect you to be happy even if she’s unknowingly showing off the green-eyed monster.
Tone down the wedding talk
You shouldn’t have to avoid all talk about your wedding, and you shouldn’t pretend you’re not engaged around an envious friend, but you should maybe watch the level of wedding talk you make them listen to. This goes for the friends and family who aren’t suffering from envy too. Everyone’s excited for you, but make sure you talk about things other than the wedding too. Being a bride who doesn’t talk excessively about their wedding will help alleviate jealous tendencies.
Don’t hide the stress of planning
One of the major reasons engagement envy is heightened is a picture perfect wedding with a stress-free planning process. This even create jealousy among your friends who are already married. They might be left wondering why yours went off without a hitch when their planning journey was filled with potholes. Be honest about your struggles and problems. Not only will you be confiding in your friends and seeking advice instead of bragging, but it will remind them that being engaged has its problems too and might help clear some of the envy from their eyes.
Confront the envy with care
If a friend is being obviously jealous or downright rude about your wedding or your engagement, don’t’ be afraid to say something. We’re not saying go in all guns blazing, and accusing them of stealing your spotlight, but ask them gently how they’re feeling about it and make sure they’re okay. Even just asking the question might make them realise they were being a little obvious with their envy and help them be more supportive. Communication is the key to solving most ill feelings like this.
Give them a little extra attention
Getting engaged really can take over your life, so it’s important to nurture your friendships while you’re in the throes of wedding planning. Neglecting your friends will definitely intensify their feelings of envy, and if they weren’t jealous of the ring before, there’s a good chance that they could become jealous of how much of your time the planning process is taking. Take care not to cancel plans or ignore texts and make sure you keep asking how they are. It’s really not all about you, you know.
– Jenny Darmody
Image credits: Ring: Kay English Photography | Bridesmaids: Terra Lange Photography | Bride and groom: Patrick Moyer Photography | Champagne: Kristyn Hogan Photography | Bridesmaids getting ready: One Love Photography