Time has moved on, the rules have changed. Not every tradition, rule and etiquette law is as strict as it once was, while the advances in technology and social situations have given way to new rules when it comes to weddings. If you’re staring down the barrel of three wedding invites in the next few years and are unsure of the ‘new’ dos and don’ts, we’re here to help.
It’s okay to wear white
This might still depend on what the bride is on a scale of one to bridezilla, but nowadays, many brides don’t care if you’re in a minimalist floral dress that happens to be white, or a plain, short white dress with a black sash, etc. Unless you’re in a floor length white gown with a veil, chances are you won’t look like the bride, which is the key to that rule. If you’re a bit unsure, check with the bride or a bridesmaid.
But don’t make a statement
No, the real rule here is not simply ‘don’t wear white,’ it’s ‘don’t upstage the bride,’ and we all know that you don’t need a white gown to do this. Don’t think you can stroll into someone else’s wedding in a giant tulle ball gown just because it isn’t white.
Do take pictures
Unless you’re at a camera-free wedding (and do watch out for those) of course it’s okay to take pictures, just don’t spend your whole day watching the wedding through the screen of your phone, it’s important to be present. Also, getting in the photographer or the videographer's way is definitely considered bad wedding etiquette. The bride and groom paid them, not you.
But don’t Snapchat the bride early
Also be wary about putting pictures on social media too soon. Check with the bride and groom if they don’t want photos going up on Facebook before the day is even over. Once you get the okay, snap away. Be warned though. If you happen to see the bride before she’s walked down the aisle, keep away from your Snapchat.
RSVP ASAP
No matter how close you think you are to the bride, never assume they know you’re coming without a formal RSVP. These days, there are probably multiple ways to RSVP to make it as easy as possible for guests so there really is no excuse. It's also good etiquette to do it as soon as possible so the couple can start working on the numbers.
But not just in person
In person still doesn’t really count as good etiquette. It’s not okay to simply say, “Oh I’m definitely coming to your wedding!” the next time you’re out for drinks. Most modern couples will allow phone, email, text or post for their RSVPs so any of those options will most likely be fine –follow the invitation. Just remember, when the wedding gets close, there’s really no excuse for backing out unless you’re sick or there was a death in the family.
Have a good time and smile
We know weddings are expensive, and they might not be the most fun for guests who’ve already been to three this year, but remember to smile and have a good time. The bride and groom invited you, so the least you can do is put on a smiling face and don’t complain this is a must when it comes to wedding etiquette.
But don’t get too tipsy
Don’t take advantage of the free reception drinks, the wine with dinner, or the open bar if they have one. Of course you should have a couple of drinks and let your hair down, but don’t be that guest who’s getting sick in the bathroom or falling around the dance floor. It’s bad enough upstaging the bride in the style stakes but it’s a hell of a lot worse if all eyes are on you for all the wrong reasons.
Follow the invitation
We’ve already warned you about following the instructions on the invite when it comes to the RSVP, now we want you to know what time the wedding is starting at. We know there’s a general rule of thumb that weddings tend to start late, but that’s not always the case. Know what time the wedding starts at and make sure you’re there.
But arrive early, not just on time
And when we say, be there in time for the wedding, we don’t mean rock in bang on 2pm if that’s what the invite says. More and more weddings are starting on time, so if you arrive at 2pm, you could be nearly walking in with the bride! It’s good practice to arrive 15-20 minutes early so that you’re well in your seat before anything starts.
- Jenny Darmody
Image credits: Mint dress: Gal Meets Glam | Photo guest book: He & She Photography | Save the date: Smitten On Paper | Champagne: 5ive15ifteen Photo Company | Lavender invite: Jose Villa