Just like post-wedding blues or pre-wedding cold feet, wedding envy is a very real feeling and can manifest at any stage of the planning process and even after your wedding is over. Whether you have a friend who has five times the budget you have or your friend managed to spot the bridesmaid dresses you wanted for a fraction of the price, there are plenty of times the green-eyed monster can come into play when it comes to weddings. However, wedding envy is not a nice feeling for you and doesn’t look very attractive to anyone else so it’s best to do your best to avoid it altogether.
Don’t focus on what’s ‘in’
We are constantly bringing you the latest wedding trends for everything from dresses to cakes, but just because it’s ‘in’, it doesn’t mean it’s for you and if you end up going for something that you don’t necessarily want you’ll be cursed with wedding envy down the line. All trends do is showcase what happens to be the most popular styles at any given time. The trends you come across when you first get your engagement ring will most likely have changed by the time you’re walking down the aisle. Don’t get too caught up in the latest trends if it’s not something you want. They’re there to inspire you, and if the hottest cake trend of 2005 is still your favourite, then go for it.
Ask for help
If you’re staring down the barrel of 200 DIY save the dates in the hope that they’ll turn out as well as what you saw on Pinterest, you might be disappointed. Any wedding you’ve gone to before or any wedding after yours will be tinged with what DIY bits and pieces the bride managed to do on her own and how you couldn’t manage it. Always ask for help if you need it, and don’t be bogged down with the idea of what other brides you know can or have done by themselves. Aside from having a different skillset, you don’t even know how much of it is true; you don’t know she didn’t ask for help too. Besides, what good is it trying to do it all on your own? You have bridesmaids (not to mention other friends and family) for a reason and you certainly have enough stress without trying to go it alone.
Wean yourself off Pinterest
Pinterest is the best and worst thing to happen to brides depending on how well you can handle it. It has created an infinite world of wedding inspiration for brides to search through. However, so much inspiration from so many different outlets and strangers allows brides-to-be to open themselves up to severe wedding envy. Instead of simply being jealous of their friends or other weddings they’ve attended, they will feel wedding envy towards people they’ve never met and with no inside information, they might have wedding envy based on nothing more than a single pin. This wedding envy is particularly dangerous in the final run up to your own wedding. With all your final details locked up and good to go, you need to take yourself off Pinterest. Why do you need to look for inspiration for things you’ve already picked? All you will do is run the risk of finding something else you want and be sorry you went with those blue lanterns and you definitely don’t want to make yourself unhappy with any of your details before you’ve even walked down the aisle.
Boasting breeds wedding envy
There are plenty of reasons we’ve given for not going on about your wedding too much. For a start, it’s rude. Your friends and family don’t want to hear nothing about wedding plans for 12 months. Secondly, it’s ill-advised to mention wedding details to anyone you don’t plan on inviting. But in relation to wedding envy, not only could you be causing it in other former brides if you boast too much, but you could be raising expectations for you own wedding, leaving you feeling under twice as much pressure for everything to be perfect and more at risk of disappointment if anything doesn’t go according to plan.
Don’t attempt to copy details
It’s fine to take inspiration from other weddings, it’s how we all get our inspiration. However, don’t try to directly copy too many details from one wedding, even if you really liked them. Your wedding should be unique to you, and you don’t want to feel like your guests are comparing the two, especially if you’re worried about certain elements not being as good as the original wedding. Our advice is only take details that you’re sure is something you want and try to put your own spin on it to make it unique to your wedding.
Focus on the bigger things
Don’t get hung up on the little things. We love the little details that make up a wedding, but it’s important to remember what’s really important. After you enjoy your day and marrying the person you love, make sure the food is good, the wine is flowing and the guests are well entertained and having a good time. After that, there’s very little need to have wedding envy for any of your friends for special touches, budget differences or other little details. It’s the details that are most likely to cause wedding envy and the best way to avoid it is to focus your time and energy on the bigger, more important elements. After all, those are the things guests remember most.
Keep it personal
One of the best ways to avoid wedding envy to ensure that you’re keeping your wedding personal to you. No matter how much bigger other weddings are or any creative details your friends had at their wedding, it’s important to remember that those details were important to them, and you have your own personal touches that will be unique to you. Choose every detail of your wedding for you and your groom with as many personal touches as possible to avoid wedding envy. That way, no matter what wedding you hear about in the future, or what quirky details you might see, you still know that everything you chose for your own wedding, you chose for a reason that was personal to you, and that’s all that matters. Check out these tips for personalising your wedding.
- Jenny Darmody
Image credits: Bride and groom: Carly Bish | Cake: One Summer Day via Ruffled | Popcorn: Pinterest | Fireworks: Pinterest | Kiss: Joie Lala via Boho Weddings | Bridesmaids: Mallory Morgan Photography