As the saying goes, “A daughter is for life, a son is a son until he finds a wife.” This can be difficult for a mother to comprehend, so it really is no wonder that a conflict of personalities with your mother-in-law can arise in the run-up to your big day. With a list as long as the church aisle to keep on top of when organising your wedding, a meddling mother-in-law is the last thing you need on your mind.
Paying for the wedding
Although the majority of couples have strayed from the tradition of the parents of the bride and groom paying for the wedding, those lucky enough to have Mammy and Daddy fork out for the big day can recognise problems arising very early on in the process.
Sit down and discuss how much each party is expecting to pay and how involved they believe they will be. This gives a good indication as to how many decisions your mother-in-law believes she is entitled to and can pose the question, is the money really worth it?
If you can stump-up the finances as a couple without any outside help, whilst still managing to pull off the wedding of your dreams, this is more likely the better option if you wish to avoid any tension among the wedding party.
Delegate to your mother-in-law
A wedding day is not only for the bride to enjoy, it’s also a transition for the whole family, so including your mother-in-law in the proceedings is a must! Delegate some of the details you’re not overly fussed on such as the music for the church or the starter that everyone will be chowing down on.
Compromise is another secret weapon to use in keeping the peace in the weeks before your wedding day. Tactics such as ‘No, I won’t be wearing your wedding dress, but I will wear your earrings instead’, will keep your soon-to-be mother-in-law involved in proceedings whilst still keeping the overall control of the day firmly in your hands.
Work as a team
As a wedding day is all about uniting as a married couple, all decisions in the run-up to the day should be equally shared between both you and your fiancé. If you feel slightly ganged-up on from your in-laws, ensure your partner openly supports your decisions. Make it very clear early on in the planning process that your partner will deal with his parents and you will deal with your own. Sometimes, voicing an opinion through your fiancé will be a bride’s only chance of a positive relationship with your future mother-in-law.
- Michelle Storey
Image credits: Getting ready: CJ Williams Photography via Bridal Musings | Bride and groom: Jen Huang via Elizabeth Anne Designs |