We know how stressful the wedding planning process can get. However, that doesn’t mean you have to turn into a full-on bridezilla. Here’s how to avoid the dreaded wedding monster.
Don’t overload your bridesmaids
Your bridesmaids are there to help you, absolutely. But they are not there to be overloaded and worked like slaves. It’s important to remember that your wedding is not the most important thing that’s happening in your bridesmaids’ lives at the moment, even if it’s the most important thing to you. It’s unfair to expect them to be at every appointment with you at the drop of a hat or to help you out with every task. Don’t turn into a bridezilla by overloading them or expecting too much or you might be left with a few less friends once you tie the knot.
Consider the costs
We know you’re keeping an eagle eye on your own budget when it comes to the wedding but have you considered the cost of the wedding for your guests? What about your wedding party? Are your parents contributing a sizable amount? A bridezilla can often lose the run of herself and what she would consider affordable, might not necessarily be affordable to everyone else. Make sure you think about alternative accommodation for guests who can’t afford to stay in your five-star venue, if you expect your bridesmaids to pay for their own dress, then the cost of these dresses must seriously be taken into consideration.
Wedding etiquette
There are some general wedding etiquette rules that the bride has to follow. It’s not just a matter of turning into a bridezilla and deciding you can do whatever you want. Make sure you’re ready to thank everyone for coming when it comes to the receiving line. You should have a gift for your bridesmaids to thank them for all their hard work, and make sure you try your best to talk to everyone at the wedding – they did make the effort to come and see you on your special day. Don’t forget those thank you cards!
Don’t let stress get to you
Wedding planning stress is one of the easiest ways to turn into a bridezilla of the highest proportions, particularly when it comes to loved ones, and of course, your groom-to-be. Couples often say they fought more as the wedding approached and while it’s mostly just stress-related snapping, it’s still not very nice. Take some time frequently to relax and de-stress so you don’t end up falling out with your nearest and dearest.
Exercise the 10-year rule
It’s easy to fret over the little things on a daily basis, let alone when it comes to your wedding. When you put that much effort into planning every little detail it's easy to get upset when things go wrong. But one of the major rules to stick by to keep your grounded throughout the planning process is the 10-year rule. Before you go into bridezilla-mode, take a breath and ask yourself, "Will I still be upset about this in ten years?" If the answer is yes, then by all means get your family and bridal party on the phone to help you sort it out. However, if the answer is no, which mostly it will be, then let that knowledge put everything in perspective and calm down. If it can be sorted, give it a try, but if it can't, it's not the end of the world. Also, if you are answering that question with yes every time, there's a good chance you've lost sight of what really matters, which probably means you could do with a break from wedding planning.
Talk about other things
No one will thank you for excessively talking about your wedding all day, every day. It's one of the first signs of a bridezilla rearing her ugly head. As we've said, your wedding is not the most important thing happening to the majority of people in your life. In fact, it's safe to say that entire days or even weeks go by where people don't even give your wedding a thought. It's not rude of them, it's just they have their own lives. You need to give your bridesmaids and family a break from the wedding talk because they don't want to hear about it 24/7. One more person you need to scale it back with is your groom-to-be. Yes, he's the one person besides you who this wedding matters most to, but that is all the more reason to cool the wedding chat. It's easy to let your wedding take over your relationship, but before there was a wedding, there was just a relationship and you need to give that some extra attention.
Being obsessed with perfection
A bridezilla will often emerge from the perfectionist bride. The bride that expects everything to be perfect will get very overbearing and controlling very quickly and no one wants to see that. The problem with perfectionists, is they often don't trust other people to do a good enough job and berate them for not reaching the bride's incredibly high standard. In reality, nothing is ever perfect, and weddings can stress out even the most laid-back person. You won't do yourself any favours by getting wound up by this impossible journey to the 'perfect' wedding, which brings us onto our final point.
Expect the unexpected
Things will go wrong. No matter how much, you plan, how perfect every detail of your wedding is, some problems will arise. You can't help it and you can't always stop them, but as with any big event, there are going to be some hitches. Cue bridezilla to come out of hiding and scream the place down. But instead of turning into bridezilla (which obviously won't solve anything), calmly deal with everything one at a time as it comes, and with the help of your bridesmaids (provided you haven't annoyed them by ignoring our previous points) everything will still be fine. Roll with the punches as they come, take three deep breathes and give that 10-year rule a shot again.
- Jenny Darmody
Image credits: Cream bridesmaids: Dylan and Sara Wedding Photography | Bride: Clayton Austin via Green Wedding Shoes | Blue bridesmaids: Sarah Der Photography via Grey Likes Weddings | Pink bridesmaids: Donna Morgan | Dresses: Annie McElwein Photography | Light blue bridesmaids: Danielle Poff Photography | Sparklers: Max Wanger via Green Wedding Shoes