Participating in someone’s wedding is both a pleasure and an absolute honour – but it’s not without stress, massive expense and a hell of a lot of responsibility. Contrary to popular belief, you can actually turn the bridesmaid job down without disappointing your bride. Sometimes it’s better to turn the job down than to accept it out of obligation and end up letting her down in the long run. However, just because it’s possible to turn the bridesmaid job down, doesn’t mean it’s easy. So, we have some advice on how to decline the offer without jeopardising an important friendship.
Compromise
Remember that it’s a two-way street and it’s important to try your best to accept the invite if she returned the favour at your own nuptials. Talk through the expectations that would be placed on you with the bride; they may not be as daunting and time consuming as you first thought and any misunderstandings or pre-conceived ideas can be ironed out and put straight. At the end of the day, it’s all about give and take. The bride may be fine with you skipping the hen party if finances are an issue.
Be honest
Whether a sister or a friend, you and the bride are sure to share a very special bond with one another if she specifically requested you to play the role of bridesmaid at her wedding, so don’t fob her off with any old made-up excuse. If you really aren’t up to the task in hand, explain in the kindest, most tactful way that you simply cannot dedicate the quality or quantity of the time expected to fill such an important role. Don’t lie and jeopardise your friendship by being caught out in the end with a very lame excuse.
Fulfill other duties
Just because you’ve managed to escape the dreaded bridesmaid job, it doesn’t mean you should abandon the bride altogether. Provide a listening ear and a shoulder for a presumably very stressed-out friend to cry on. Planning a wedding will prove to be one of the most stressful times in a woman’s life so make your presence known by helping whenever possible and plan as many shopping trips and lunches to take her mind off of things.
Be an unofficial bridesmaid
Depending on your reasons for turning down the bridesmaid job, you can still offer to help in a non-official capacity. Whether you can't commit to definite appointments, you can't afford the expense that comes with the bridesmaid job or you simply don't think you'd be able to do a good job, offer to help in smaller tasks that don't require as much of a commitment. Just because you aren't a bridesmaid, doesn't mean you can't help with DIY tasks.
Be an amazing guest
Be everything the bride would expect of a guest on a celebration, and more! Be the first to liven up the dance floor, step in to break the ice if things get awkward with the in-laws, and above all, have fun. If you can't take the bridesmaid job, be the most helpful guest
- Michelle Storey
Image credits: Bouquets: Pinterest | Mint dresses: Tulle & Chantilly | Patterned dresses: Deer Pearl Flowers | Blue dresses: Jenny Yoo via Julie Cate Photography | Coral dresses: Pinterest