Getting engaged and having the big white wedding is not quite as straightforward as it once was with the introduction of social media. Twitter means the world might find out you’re engaged before your parents, Facebook could show everyone your wedding photos before you see them, and Instagram could have half your wedding guests glued to their screens rather than your actual wedding! But don’t worry, we have the dos and don’ts when it comes to modern wedding etiquette for the social-savvy bride and groom.
Announcement etiquette
The excitement of updating your social media status to ‘engaged’ can be so overwhelming that in the heat of the moment you may just forget that proper etiquette is to inform family and close friends first! Getting engaged is such a heart-warming, special moment that sharing the news with family before Joe Bloggs in the office will just add to the intimacy of the occasion and is an etiquette rule that you just can't break. Updating your status is an efficient way to spread the news (and perfect to show off your ginormous sparkler), yet not very personal. Take into account also, that other family members who don’t have social media accounts will miss the message altogether.
Relationship status change
Basking in the post-marital glow of being a newly-married lady can mean only one thing for an avid Facebook user; updating that all important relationship status to married. There’s no right or wrong time to do this in terms of etiquette, it’s completely up to personal choice as for some it’s a big deal but others, not a necessity. It’s advisable to maybe hold off doing so at the altar, yet this could be incorporated into your vows in a tongue-in-cheek way for a particularly tech-mad couple: e.g. ‘You may now update your Facebook status!’ But it’s not for the fainthearted.
Wedding updates
If your shiny tiara and long-flowing veil is buried into your phone for the majority of your wedding day updating this, that and the other about proceedings, then your entire nuptials will be wasted. You’ve taken months, if not years to plan this special day and a lot of blood, sweat and tears has gone into perfecting every detail; so it’s understandable that you wish to share your happiness with friends/followers on social media but you don't want to miss your whole wedding. Not to mention it's bad etiquette to ignore your actual guests who have attended your wedding in favour of those who are on social media. For those who want their wedding shared to the masses, there are ways and means around this.
Inform guests in advance that it is absolutely fine, if not encouraged, to update their social media about the day’s proceedings and tagging the newly married couple in it. This way, not only will your hard work be shown off to all online, it will be a wonderful memory for you and your husband to look back on in the days following your wedding day. You could even assign one of your bridesmaids as chief “tweeter of honour” to capture these special moments and post them online. Don’t forget about the perfect wedding hashtag!
E-invites
Email invites pre-wedding day are ideal for engagement parties, wedding updates etc. but a traditional paper invite is ideal for the actual event. Day-to-day busy lives, spam and junk mail means people erase unread emails all the time without even opening them. Hardcopy is a far more personal and secure way of ensuring it is read and received to the recipient and for the creative person inside of you, traditional paper invites can be designed in a way which gives guests a sneak peek at the theme of the wedding day. Don’t forget about your guests that don’t have email access! You can always include an option to RSVP via email as well a postal option to double the chances of getting swift replies.
Keep it to yourself
Using social media posts to complain about guests not RSVPing or your nightmare mother-in-law’s wedding input is a massive no-no for modern bride etiquette. Keep all updates about your wedding day positive as the alternative route will only cause tension and animosity around what is meant to be the happiest day of your life. It’s also worth bearing in mind that you might want to keep certain details private until the big day so don’t share every decision with your online community. Besides, you don’t want to be that bride that friends have to hide from their timelines due to excessive wedding statuses.
Go offline
Finally, an alternative option for your wedding in the face of modern society is to opt for a completely unplugged wedding so both you and your guests can enjoy an iPhone screen-free day. Your guests might struggle a little with the correct etiquette at an unplugged wedding, but a simple quirky sign and a note on the invites will help them understand. Here are a few reasons why an unplugged wedding is an excellent idea.
- Michelle Storey
Image credits: Bride and groom: Pinterest | Instagram: Wedd Book | Twitter: Pinterest | Unplugged sign: Etsy