There are plenty of problems that can cause stress for brides coming up to their wedding. From guest list grievances to top table troubles. Not to mention a serious case of ‘too many cooks’.
Family opinions
Or anyone else’s opinion for that matter. If you set out trying to please everyone, you’re going to run into some problems. Aside from the fact that it’s impossible to please everyone, it’s your wedding, and the only people you should really be trying to please on your wedding day is you and your husband-to-be. The best thing to do is keep a lot of the details of your wedding to yourself, and don’t bring too many friends and family to things like your bridal fitting or your cake tasting. Too many cooks spoiling the broth is definitely a phrase that goes hand in hand with weddings and opinions in all different directions are definitely a recipe for bridal stress.
Uninvited guests
The “should have” for these problems is to not make throwaway comments about invitations to people before you have done your guest list. You don’t yet know how far your budget stretches or how quickly your guest list will fill up. However, it’s hard not to make this mistake, especially when you can’t help but gush about your engagement and wedding in the early stages. Once something has already been said, consider these people for the afters instead of the whole day. If you’re having a very small wedding, consider having a party the next day for anyone who didn’t make the cut for the guestlist – and of course, for any guests still standing after a night of festivities. This is what that “just in case fund” was budgeted for.
Expecting bridesmaid
If you know before you get the dresses, there shouldn’t be any problems, there are plenty of maternity options for bridesmaids and you can match up the colour. Occasionally, you will have a bridesmaid that you will ask before they are pregnant. You might even have the dresses bought by the time she has told you. There are a few things you can look at here. Firstly, depending on how far along your expecting bridesmaid is, the dress you already bought might need very few alterations, or even none at all. Otherwise, there are plenty of options for maternity bridesmaids. You might even be able to get a multi-wrap dress in the same colour as the other dresses, which can be adapted to your bridesmaid’s baby bump.
Separated parents
Separated or divorced parents can bring a whole mess of problems when it comes to your wedding, particularly if they don’t get on. From sitting the two of them together at the top table to whose names are on the invitations. The best thing to do in this situation is to talk to them about the situation. You want to include their wishes as best you can and make them happy of course, but you should also remind them that it’s your day and they should be able to make you happy. We have more tips on dealing with the family conflict of separated or divorced parents.
Plus one problems
Plus ones can cause a lot of problems. Who do you have to give them to? Who is expecting plus ones? Do you have to give them to your single guests? Depending on the size of your guest list, the general rule of thumb is to invite those who are married, engaged or in a long term relationship. You should also give your bridal party a plus one regardless of whether or not they’re single. However, occasionally you will run into awkward situations where guests who expected a plus one, will not pay attention to the fact that “plus one” is not on their invitation. If they RSVP with a plus one, politely call them and let them know that the numbers are limited and hope they understand.
Traditions
There are lots of traditions that come with weddings, both the universal ones, the Irish ones and then there’s the personal family traditions. They can be a lovely addition to your special day, if you want them. However, if you don’t want to include some of them, it isn’t always well received by the family. Sometimes, it just means so much to your grandmother to wear that special veil but you were planning on going up the aisle without any hair accessories. Getting around the traditions you want and the traditions you don’t, when you’re family have other ideas is similar to not getting too many opinions and dealing with family conflicts. Ultimately, it’s your day, and what you want matters most, but it’s important not to totally disregard your family’s feelings. Maybe a compromise can be reached?
High expectations
Not from your family, but from you. One of the biggest stresses for brides, comes from not having realistic expectations and then being upset when they don’t work out. The best defence for this is to start off with realistic expectations for your wedding. Don’t expect doves, ice sculptures and whole castle to yourselves with a shoestring budget. Re-evaluate your expectations and budget throughout the planning process to minimise the chances of ridiculously high expectations creeping in and disappointing you.
Cold feet
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again. Cold feet are a completely natural part of the wedding planning process. They happen to both brides and grooms, but they don’t happen to everyone. There are plenty of ways to deal with cold feet, depending on whether it’s just the run-up to the day or a bit of pre-wedding jitters on the day itself. Anything from a relaxing bath, to a letter from your beloved can alleviate the nerves that come with wedding plans. If you’re worried about whether you have genuine worries or if they are just natural cold feet, ask yourself these questions.
Day-of disasters
There are some disasters you can’t avoid. The only way to avoid the stresses that come with the day itself is to be prepared, and to delegate as many day-of tasks to your bridesmaids or your wedding planner. Think about every disaster that could possibly happen with the help of your bridesmaids, and have a contingency plan, preferably for someone else to deal with on the day so that you don’t have to worry about it. It’s also a good idea to have a well-stocked emergency kit at the ready for any such disasters.
- Jenny Darmody
Image credits: Couple running: Archibald Photography | Woodland: Rachael Schirano Photography via Junebug Weddings | Bridesmaids: The Jersey Maid | Children: Pinterest | Cold feet socks: Groom's Advice