Of course, your wedding is a magical time, one filled with happiness and joy. But it can also be stressful, and no matter what way you dress it up, some parts of the wedding planning process are less than desirable.
Choosing a venue
You should decide on your venue before you do anything else. It’s easier to plan the rest of your wedding once you have a location, and if you’re on the same page with your partner about where your wedding should be, happy days. However, it’s often not that simple and you’ll feel like you can’t move forward with anything else until this one decision is made. The best way to make this decision is to break them down according to location, price, and any extras that will influence your decision. Then you both have to agree which ones are outside the your limits, and eliminate them one at a time
Your guest list
Let's be honest. Your guest list is going to be one of the biggest wedding planning headaches you will have to deal with. Firstly, there's the issue of cost. Each guest can add as much as €100 on to your bill. Then there's the matter of who you want to invite versus who you should invite. This is where your family will come in. Most parents have their own ideas about who they want to invite to your wedding, and as a courtesy, you should allow them a certain number; they should be given more if they're contributing to the wedding financially. The guest list gets particularly tough when you're narrowing it right down and deciding who to knock off the list, but we have some ways to make it as stress-free as possible.
Conflicting opinions
During the wedding planning process, there will be many opinions flying around, not just from you and your groom-to-be, but from your friends, family, bridesmaids, guests, the list goes on. We think it's best to minimise the amount of people you involve in each decision in order to avoid too many different opinions and arguments. They will only confuse you, stress you out, and cause tension. It is your wedding after all and the two opinions that matter most are yours and your partner's (except when it comes to the bridesmaid dresses). Even then, you may have to compromise with one another but it's always easier with two people. Beyond that, choose who else's opinion you want at each juncture carefully.
The budget
We've said it before and we'll say it again: your budget is one of the worst parts of wedding planning. Trying to figure out how much you need to save, how big your wedding is going to be and how you split the money up between vendors is multiple headaches rolled into one. Not to mention the hidden costs, the emergencies that can leave you out of pocket and unknowingly going over budget. There are so many pitfalls when it comes to your budget and unfortunately there's no fun side to it. However, if you manage your budget correctly and learn how to spend it wisely, you could take the harm out of this part of the wedding planning process.
Settling on bridesmaid dresses
Bridesmaid dress shopping can be traumatic for some brides. Not all dresses, lengths or colours suit every bridesmaid, and the bigger your bridal party, the more ladies you have to please. If you have a colour in mind, consider different shades or dress styles in the form of mismatched dresses. Alternatively, pick a few different options and present them to your maids to see what they think. It's your day, but you won't be wearing this dress an it's important that your best girls are comfortable when they're standing beside you.
The stress
No matter how laid back you are, chances are wedding planning will stress you out at some point. It's definitely a major downside to the planning process, because planning the happiest day of your life should be a joy but when there's so much to do, it can get stressful. It's advisable to have some wedding-free time every week with your partner so it's not all your relationship is about. You should also have some quality time with your bridesmaids, but not in the capacity of bridesmaids. It's one of the most important days of your life but that doesn't mean you want it to take over your life.
The plus ones
As much hassle making the actual guest list will cause you, deciding on who deserves plus ones will only add to the guest list stress. As a general rule, consider only those who are married, or those who live together, or those who you've both met. These are not definite rules but they will help you make your decision. Then there's the matter of guests who believe they have a plus one and RSVP for two when the invite was only one. Gently remind them that the guest list is limited. It can be an awkward conversation, but wedding etiquette means guests shouldn't presume they have a plus one unless it's explicitly written on the invitation.
The RSVPs
Speaking of RSVPs, it's a common problem when wedding planning that your guests don't have the same urgency about your wedding as you do. While you're eagerly awaiting responses, many guests might have already marked their calendar but forgot to tell you. It's a good idea to give a number and an email as well as an RSVP card with a stamped addressed envelope to make it as easy as possible for guests to RSVP. Then, set a time after the RSVP deadline to call the guests who haven't responded to gently remind them You will more than likely get an instant response that way.
The table plan
Trying to seat people isn't as simple as filling up the spaces as the RSVPs come in. You have to decide where the families are going to go, how to fill the extra spaces, take care not to split up couples, etc. It's difficult when you're moving whole groups around at once and you have a few 'ones' to place. Add to that any family drama of having to keep certain people away from each other and you have another headache from the wedding planning process. Don't worry though, we have some table planning tips.
Having no time
One of the worst part of wedding planning is how little time you will have to do anything else. A lot of your free time will go to wedding planning, which doesn't give you much time to relax. This is part of the reason planning a wedding is so stressful. As we said, it's important to have at least one wedding-free day a week, and don't make every conversation you have about the wedding. You need some time to yourself to make sure you don't go insane.
- Jenny Darmody
Image credits: Sparklers: Found Creative Studio via Green Wedding Shoes | Car & Table: Bret Cole via Grey Likes Weddings | Bride with bridesmaids: Polka Dot Bride | Blue bridesmaids: Pinterest